Monday, March 03, 2008
some weekend I spent staying over in a foreign city (heck it felt like a foreign country for me)It sure is very ironic. I am officially an Indonesian yet I felt so alienated in my own country. How tragic,...I do understand I cant act the way I acted back in Holland. But from my point of view, I am no different than any foreigner here in Indonesia. Yet, because my appearance is really Indonesian. People took everything for granted that I will know every custom, norm and courtesy here in Indonesia.
I am willing to learn, but noone is willing to teach me. Unlike when a real foreigner (real as in appearance) came to Indonesia. People will say, "oh he's not accustomed to Indonesian custom" and other comments that's giving understanding of him being a foreigner. Unfortunately the same appreciation is not given to me, despite that I am a foreigner myself. So its a discrimination within my own race & country. People will not give me the same understanding as they will give others.
Such a shame, such a pity.
Especially elders here, thinking they are all high & mighty. I spit on those. And IMHO, they can kiss can kiss my ass goodbye. Truthfully even towards elders in holland, there's no different. I will pay my respect, because when they are at fault they will admit and apologize gracefully. And those kind of people deserves the highest respect from the deepest part of my heart. I am now like awaken from my deepest slumber. I used to think that Indonesia like a paradise, a heaven, a harbor to ease my broken heart. And I used to have a homesick towards Indonesia. But guess what? It's all bogus now. An illusion....
Indonesian, are infamous for their hospitality... yet I am now aware of their other sides as well.
Attitude of Indonesian that I paid quite an attention, they will bully weaker one. Not all of course, but from what I've seen it's mostly like that. You will be treated as royals here, if you have the money to pay the luxury that is. People will bow down to you, heck they will fucking KISS YOUR ASS if you order them to do so. Just wave with stacks-o-money (loads of money) and people will cherish you as if you are their king. Unfortunately it will attract thieves & robbers. So do it with caution. LOL!
Money talks, I witnessed it with my own eyes. And some people, unfortunately... think that they are able to buy love with their money as well. I saw living proves daily on TV & Newspapers. Beautiful & gorgeous ladies (too bad they are quite after luxury and wealth obviously) married fugly & fat & hideous men (althou they are quite rich & succesful). Now I ask you, some of them might married their partners because of love despite their wealth. But how many of them married their partners for impure reasons.
And I've met some guys that think they can fucking do the same thing with me. OK, that's like F.U.C.K.E.D UP!
But truthfully it broke my heart, seeing my own race & nation is now like this. They are so giving off such hatred towards western culture, and saying they are going to keep the eastern culture heritage. And soon afterwards they are claiming being modern & non-ortodhox by taking adoption of some western culture & adapt/modifying those onto their own culture. Yet, from what I've seen. What they took just only the bad thing or something that needs some regulation without taking the regulation along with it.
I never thought my coming-back to my own country would be this painful and shocking for me.
Labels: culturshock, foreigner, Indonesia